Style in Business
Correspondence
State
the main business, purpose, or subject matter right away.
Let
the reader know from the very first sentence what your letter is about. Remember
that when business people open a letter, their first concern is to know what the
letter is about, what its purpose is, and why they must spend their time reading
it. Therefore, avoid round-about beginnings. If you are writing to apply for a
job, begin with something like this: "I am writing to apply for the
position you currently have open...." If you have bad news for someone, you
need not spill all of it in the first sentence. Here is an example of how to
avoid negative phrasing: "I am writing in response to your letter of July
24, 1997 in which you discuss a misunderstanding you had with our security
guards at the main gate of the College on Corrales Extension.
If
you are responding to a letter, identify that letter by its subject and date in
the first paragraph or sentence.
Busy
recipients who write many letters themselves may not remember their letters to
you. To avoid problems, identify the date and subject of the letter to which you
respond:
Keep
the paragraphs of most business letters short.
The
paragraphs of business letters tend to be short, some only a sentence long.
Business letters are not read the same way as articles, reports, or books.
Usually, they are read rapidly. Big, thick, dense paragraphs over ten lines,
which require much concentration, may not be read carefully — or read at all.
To
enable the recipient to read your letters more rapidly and to comprehend and
remember the important facts or ideas, create relatively short paragraphs of
between three and eight lines long. In business letters, paragraphs that
are made up of only a single sentence are common and perfectly acceptable.
"Compartmentalize"
the contents of your letter.
When
you "compartmentalize" the contents of a business letter, you place
each different segment of the discussion — each different topic of the letter
— in its own paragraph. If you were writing a complaint letter concerning
problems with the system unit of your department’s computer, you might have
these paragraphs:
·
- A description of the problems you've had with it
·
- The ineffective repair jobs you've had
·
- The compensation you think you deserve and why
Study
each paragraph of your letters for its purpose, content, or function.
When you locate a paragraph that does more than one thing, consider splitting it
into two paragraphs. If you discover two short separate paragraphs that do the
same thing, consider joining them into one.
Provide
topic indicators at the beginning of paragraphs.
Analyze
some of your letters you have written in terms of the contents or purpose of
their individual paragraphs. In the first line of any body paragraph of a
business letter, try to locate a word or phrase that indicates the topic of that
paragraph. If a paragraph discusses your problems with a personal computer, work
the word "problems" or the phrase "problems with my personal
computer" into the first line, or at least into the first sentence. Doing
this gives recipients a clear sense of the content and purpose of each
paragraph. Here is an excerpt before and after topic indicators have been
incorporated:
List
or itemize whenever possible in a business letter.
Listing
spreads out the text of the letter, making it easier to pick up the important
points rapidly. A good way to do this is by using bullets.
Place important information
strategically in business letters.
Information
in the first and last lines of paragraphs tends to be read and remembered
better. Information buried in the middle of long paragraphs is easily overlooked
or forgotten. Therefore, place important information in high-visibility points.
For example, in application letters which must convince potential employers that
you are right for a job, locate information on appealing qualities at the
beginning or end of paragraphs for greater emphasis. Place less positive or
detrimental information in less highly visible points in your business letters.
If you have some difficult things to say, a good (and honest) strategy is to
de-emphasize by placing them in areas of less emphasis. If a job requires three
years of experience and you only have one, bury this fact in the middle or the
lower half of a body paragraph of the application letter. The resulting letter
will be honest and complete; it just won't emphasize weak points unnecessarily.
Find
positive ways to express bad news in your business letters.
Often,
business letters must convey bad news: a refund can not be made, or an
individual cannot be hired. Such bad news can be conveyed in a tactful way.
Doing so reduces the chances that business relations with the recipient of the
bad news will end. To convey bad news positively, avoid such words as
"cannot," "forbid," "fail,"
"impossible," "refuse," "prohibit,"
"restrict," and "deny" as much as possible.
Focus
on the recipient's needs, purposes, or interests instead of your own.
Avoid
a self-centered focusing on your own concerns rather than those of the
recipient. Even if you must talk about yourself in a business letter a great
deal, do so in a way that relates your concerns to those of the recipient. This
recipient-oriented style is often called the "you-attitude," which
does not mean using more “you” but making the recipient the main focus of
the letter.
Avoid
pompous, inflated, legal-sounding phrasing.
Watch
out for puffed-up, important-sounding language. This kind of language may seem
business-like at first; it's actually ridiculous. Of course, such phrasing is
apparently necessary in legal documents; but why use it in other writing
situations? When you write a business letter, picture yourself as a
plain-talking, common-sense, down-to-earth person (but avoid slang).
Give
your business letter an "action ending" whenever appropriate.
An "action-ending" makes clear what the writer of the letter expects the recipient to do and when. Ineffective conclusions to business letters often end with rather limp, noncommittal statements such as "Hope to hear from you soon" or "Let me know if I can be of any further assistance." Instead, or in addition, specify the action the recipient should take and the schedule for that action. If, for example, you are writing a query letter, ask the editor politely to let you know of his decision if at all possible in a month. If you are writing an application letter, subtly try to set up a date and time for an interview. Here are some examples: May I expect to hear from you within the week? or I am free after 2:00 p.m. on most days. Can we set up an appointment to discuss my background and this position further? I'll look forward to hearing from you.